Jiu Jitsu Training Partners- The Good and The Bad

Beware the training partner!

Over the years, I’ve had some great and like minded training partners. I’ll tell you a quick story about one of them. Now before I do, please keep in mind that this is old school.

My buddy Paddy and me were both professionals at the time. Or, as it’s more commonly known, we were on the dole. We had the time to train and the will to do so. I was training for MMA and he was training for Muay Thai, where he’d go on to win an Irish title.

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we’d train at 10am. I’d drop my lads to school and we’d meet up in my very often freezing gym and do pads and sparring.

Now when I say freezing, I’m not exaggerating. One morning a guy went to mop up the mats and there was a frozen puddle on them. We’d wear hoodies and tracksuit bottoms under our Gis to roll. I brought the Mendes brothers in for a seminar there in February 2010. I think I turned them off Ireland forever.

So it was often pretty unappealing when Paddy and me would hit the boxing ring for our pads and sparring sessions every Tuesday and Thursday. We had 2 speeds back then- Stop and Go. We were either doing nothing or sparring full on. I used to come home sometimes with my ears ringing.

Not smart training. I know.

But I never shirked it. Not once. Because I knew he wouldn’t shirk it either. Man, we were in some shape back then. I could go forever. And he was in better shape than me. We were setting new standards for each other every week.

We may still be doing it now if he hadn’t moved to the USA, where, ironically after years of not wanting to train Jiu Jitsu with me, he now has a BJJ black belt.

What a great training partner! Times were really hard back then, for both of us to be honest, but that time is a great memory, and we bonded like brothers during it. I’ve had very few times like it.

So through financial and personal hardship, freezing temperatures, filthy gyms, ringing ears, shin edemas, legs purple from low kicks, blood, sweat, and tears, every Tuesday and Thursday morning I would get in my car and drive to the gym, as would he, And every Tuesday and Thursday I would keep checking my phone, hoping against hope that he would text and say he was busy, or sick, or something had come up. And so, he told me years later, would he.

But, we didn’t. We showed for each other.

But what if we didn’t?

Like, just once, what if I texted, “Got something on, not coming today”. Of course there were times one of us really did have something on, and we missed the odd session with illness or family commitments. But what if I one day just thought- “Nope”?

I think we’d both have taken our foot off the pedal. It would have become an acceptable behaviour to text and cancel.

I see this a lot with friends who start Jiu Jitsu together, or people who train with each other a lot.

“Are you going tonight?”

“Nah. Not feeling it”

“Ok, if you’re not, I’m not”

Having a good training partner is great, but you can’t be dependent on them to come training. After all, you’re not with them all the time in your class, it’s usually just that you decide to arrive there together.

Maybe you’ll be lucky, like me, and have a few great training partners over your years training. But keep in mind that you have to lift each other up, not drag each other down.

See you on the mat,

Barry