I don’t want to go all David Goggins on you this morning but I had a chat with a lad last week and I’ll share a few things that I said to him with you today.
It doesn’t require some sort of Herculean effort to rise above the crowd. In fact, through observation, you’ll note that most people do very little and put in very little effort. It’s a fallacy to suggest that every successful person did so through immense sacrifice. I heard someone say that to do better than 80% of people, you only have to try about 5% harder.
So if you’re the guy who just shows up really regularly, doesn’t party too hard at the weekends, and eats and sleeps well, you’ll rise above the crop, and you’ll be well on your way to getting to your next level.
I wrote about this last week and he wanted to know more, so I’ll tell you what I told him.
It’s not about rejecting your mates and abandoning your family, it’s just recognising that your goals might not align with others, and deciding that you don’t have to follow their path or do what they do to still be their friend. My Da used to tell me to “Paddle your own canoe” whenever something like this would come up.
So for example, if you are dedicated to getting your next belt in Jiu Jitsu, and your mates are going drinking, or even just going somewhere for the craic, you have to make a conscious decision to not say yes. And you’ll get pushback and the fear of missing out, but real mates will see what you’re doing and prop you up.
If you’ve got a buddy you come training with, and you’re both motivated to do well and come regularly, that’s great. But I’ve seen more people drag each other down than build each other up, to be honest. Everyone starts great, and then one day one guy (or girl) says, “I don’t fancy it tonight”, and at that stage, you have the choice to go alone or wait until they do fancy it. You can have a training partner, but don’t be dependent on them!
Likewise, and this one is sensitive, the single biggest decision you’ll ever make in your life is your life partner. The wrong partner will drag you down, the right partner will lift you up. That goes for even short-term girl and boyfriends too. I’m not a relationship expert but the greatest thing you’ll ever do, if you do it right, is get with someone who you support and who supports you. And like it or not, there are people out there who will, for whatever reason, hold you back.
So whenever I use that term, it conjures up images of people who live in hippy communes or nudist colonies. Anyway, I don’t mean that. Here’s what I mean.
If you’re a young guy or girl, life is billed as school, college, work. Or for a lot of lads, work, weekend, drugs and booze. Or work, Netflix, Takeaway, bed.
Oversimplification? Maybe. My point is that if you want to, Jiu Jitsu can change your lifestyle. You train, then you eat to train better, and you sleep to train better, and you start to hang out with other people who are healthy and fit and are on the same track.
And yeah you can still have takeaway and go to festivals. You don’t have to become a monk. (5% more, remember?). You can even still live in a nudist colony if you want, but please, wear clothes to Kyuzo.
Okay that’s all this week,
See you on the mat!
Barry
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