Here’s what I said to the teenagers in my Jiu Jitsu last week.

I told them a story about a guy I used to train with who pulled a 1:18 (1minute 18 seconds) 500m on the Concept 2 rower, and made himself number 1 on the indoor rowing leaderboard for the world for a brief time. He wasn’t a rower, he was a basketball player, it just happened to be his favourite conditioning apparatus in the gym.

That time is excellent, by the way, and the 500m on the rower is possibly the most challenging from a conditioning perspective. It falls between sprinting (all out effort) and endurance (sustained effort over time). Under 1:30 and you are probably extremely fit. I’ve seen highly fit people bonk at 350m and be unable to finish.

What I told them was that beside him, on the other machine, I pulled a 1:21. Not enough to get on any leaderboard, and not as impressive (those 3 seconds difference are an eternity), but still a really, really good time. For context, it would make me 120^th in the world this year. Doesn’t sound all that great when you say that, but then, I’m not a rower.

I tried that again some time after. 1:25. Outstanding time if I may say so myself. Really high level. But not 1:21. I did it again, 1:27, 1:26, 1:28, 1:25… you get the point. I couldn’t hit that high again. The missing ingredient? My training partner on that one day. I tried to match him stroke for stroke, and ended up getting a PB. On my own, I couldn’t repeat it.

I was being pulled forward by someone better.

I didn’t look at him and think “I’ll never be as fast as he is”. I looked at him and thought, “He’s the fastest. I need to get close to him”.

We naturally compare ourselves to others. We’re a competitive species. We can’t avoid it. In Jiu Jitsu, because you’re literally in contest with others in drills and sparring, there is an obvious tendency to compare yourself. The results are plain! I tapped him, he tapped me. I took him down, or he took me down and so on.

But instead of saying “I never tap that guy and he always taps me”, look at him. Study him. See what he’s doing. How much he’s training. How he trains. Let him pull you up.

That’s the other great thing about Jiu Jitsu. In my experience, in the right culture, everyone wants to bring you up to their level. It’s a selfish thing! If I bring you up to my level, then I get a new training partner who can challenge me and make ME better.

That was what I was trying to get across to the Teenagers on Saturday. There are 2 roles in this cultural game.

The follower- You need to look at who’s better and see them as your goal. To be as dedicated, as hard-working, as skilled as they are.

The leader- To help those below you on the ladder to get to where you are. Pull them up with your encouragement but more importantly with your example.

See you on the mat,

Barry